Friday, July 17, 2009
The ups and downs of listening to one's head instead of the heart
Today I finished all of my treatments...one year almost to the day from when I started. July 18, 2008 - July 17, 2009. This was the "up" part...I am done! Praise the Lord, I am done! What a great feeling. Today I had blood work done and everything is good and within normal range. Today I saw the oncologist...and everything is good. He commented that I am such a healthy person, that I am doing really good. He was enthusiastic about me getting my port out. So, you are getting your port out, he says. Great, he says. He then told me he wants me to get another PET scan in three months which starts the "down" part. This is also where the "listening to one's head" part comes in. I think it is a good thing to get a PET scan. I will feel good about that. My head says that it is wise to leave the port in until I get this test and get an "all clear" from the test. My heart says that both doctors gave their approval and I really wanted it out. My head says that it would be stupid to take it out just because I want it out only to potentially have to have it put back in. My heart says it will not need to be put back in...why else would both doctors have given their approval for getting it out. My head says it makes good prudent sense to leave it in just until the test and I get the all clear. My heart says that to get it out now means I really am done. That was the thing...leaving the port in, while the smart, prudent thing to do, means I'm not quite done yet. And I so wanted to be completely done. I knew in my head, of course, that I am in this for the long haul and that a cancer survivor is never completely "done," so in the end my head won and I plan on doing the prudent thing.
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5 comments:
Ahhh yes, the head says "hip hip hooray to all that reasonable and rational thought", and your heart says "oh crap" ;) I love you Mom, and you'll be superb! I'm just glad there's an excuse to have you visit a couple times :)
Cindy's comment was perfect, "oh crap", but in my heart, I feel the Lord is going to give you many years of good health. You are a testimony and incourgement to many people and the Lord has heard all our prayers. We love you and Bill and wish God's blessings on your lives. Also thanks to Bill who has stood by you and encourged you through all of this. I know that has helped you beyond measure.
We are proud of you and your family in the manner you've completed this difficult year.
it's good where God doesn't always gives answers He gives strength. We are praying for all of you.
B
Oh, Me!!! I am so sorry you have to wait!! We will continue to pray, and God will and does answer prayers. Your PET scan will be superb, and out the port will come. Then, Have a Party!!!!! C
Ok... I'm not meaning to compare the routine to the hopefully-only-once-in-a-lifetime, but as I see it, we've both got some uncomfortableness between now and October, and then, some really bad, and then, some really good. So, hopefully I can time it right, and, on top of getting the port out and having a big party, the reward for your getting through the next three months, and that aweful scan, can be a cute little grandbaby. It may not be the "natural" reward for such labor, but maybe it will make it nicer just the same? :)
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